Jack, Jack, old friend who knows me not in the least,
Vicki and I delighted in your performance in The Departed this past weekend. We’re in our fifties and have grown up with you in all your many roles, from the Corman days on.
You’re my Santa Claus. Always have been.
Allow me to explain.
My third published novel is Santa Steps Out: A Fairy Tale for Grown-Ups. My Santa used to be the Greek god of everything excessive and sensual, Pan. The Tooth Fairy seduces him one Xmas Eve, and now his memories and urges are gradually returning.
Now, I’ve had my share of acting. And I know you appreciate the vast character arc implied here, from warm, generous, all-giving Santa to hot, grasping, consumed-by-passion Pan.
This story would give you a chance to play in the vast arena of your talent, to go hog wild and restrained, loving to your wife but in great need of sexual variety. And you would do this tale proud!
With the greatest respect and admiration,